My in-laws are very smart people. They have constantly misbehaved with me right since the time I have know them (i.e. 1 year before I got married) which is almost 5 years now. However, when my husband talks to them about it they say they love me very much and never had any such intentions so at the end of the day my husband feels that his parents are great and care about me but I am not good towards them. We had to pay lakhs of rupees in loan which they borrowed in my husband’s name saying that they are tight but I have heard that they have a very lavish lifestyle. However, whenever we visit them they behave as they are short of money and virtually living on the brink.
They talk ill about me to all the relatives and I have come to know through many people what they have been saying but when I tell my husband he does not believe me saying that his parents can never do that. None of the people who told me this are ready to say so to my husband and I do not want to name them or it will spoil their relationship with my husband’s family. They are constantly smirking, and passing sarcastic remarks and I have no way of proving to my husband that they are not what he thinks but I just do not know how to do so that he understand….I am so frustrated that I thought of taking my life…the stress is killing me!!
Please help me with your suggestions.
Thank you for your answers. I tried all of these. I am not a diplomatic person by nature and though I tried, they were all the more sweet in front of my hubby. For them it is natural so they could continue, and for me it become all the more frustrating to the point I had to quit. My husband does fight with them but they always explain that they would never want to hurt me or him and probably I am taking it in the wrong way. And then, my husband is convinced easily. In his eyes, his family can never do anything bad intentionally. Mr. Marwa, It is not that I did not try thinking from that perspective too, that maybe I am being selfish. But if you are under hundred thousand rupees of debt which your parents in law borrowed and still get ill-treated by them and when you brother in law goes about telling people that he is managing the house and that his brother i.e. my husband is not doing anything for the house even though he does not contribute a single rupee himself, it ain’t that easy.
Posts Tagged ‘inlaws’
How to deal with my in-laws and my husband.?
April 7th, 2010
What should I do with my in-laws?
February 23rd, 2010For 5 years I’ve tried to have a good relationship with my in-laws. Things never get better with them though. My father-in-law sexually harassed me, and even upon my husband’s request to quit touching me inappropriately, he kept on doing it until I broke the new to his wife (my MIL). Besides these incidents that left me forever traumatized, FIL is demeaning and offensive to my husband regularly. My mother-in-law didn’t approve of my union with my husband and made that very clear from the moment we decided to move in together. I made efforts by doing them favors, visiting them (without my husband), buying them gifts, assisting them in their business…etc. We were going to purchase our first home, had saved for a down payment plus my parents were gonna match up everything we saved. My husband works for his parents but receives only 30% of his weekly pay in check form, the rest is in cash because my in-laws don’t want to pay taxes I guess. My husband works almost 90 hours a week. When we finally found the perfect house, MIL decided to go M.I.A. only to announce by the end of the day that she wasn’t gonna give us his full paycheck that the mortgage broker was requesting. Result: obviously we didn’t get approved for the loan. I haven’t spoken to my in-laws ever since. Last week my husband had a terrible toothache and had to go to the dentist and have a wisdom tooth removed, it was a long process. He’s very responsible and never misses work. His pay came with a deduction for the day he went to surgery! I thought that not only because these are his parents but also because he busts his butt there 90 hours a week, he can’t take a paid day for medical purposes?
I have no future plans of ever holding a caring and loving relationship with my in-laws. My husband agrees with me because he has witnessed all that has been done(The story has many more unfortunate incidents, too long). What do you think?
Thank you all for your advice! We are a young couple, married for almost 4 years, and we have been making financial progress despite this huge problem. We’re learning the “tricks of the trade” slowly as my family lives in another country and his family isn’t helpful. Thanks again!
Are You Behind on Mortgage payments ? Get Help now.
