My Father-in law (FIL) recently lost it and called my husband and myself some horrible things, and has even said mean things about my Mom. It all started when (after getting pregnant with baby #2), my husband and I gave some of my husband’s old furniture to my Mom so we could get some toddler furniture. Besides the fact that my FIL gave it to my husband 12 years ago, it is antique, and neither one of us like it. My Mom planned to hold it until my 1st child was old enough to see if he would like it for himself. Anyways, my FIL flipped out and said that my husband cannot give the furniture away (even though it was more of a loan) to someone outside of the family. He then called my husband names, threatened him, said that I was controlling, and called my Mom controlling.

My husband and I have seen some strange behavior from my FIL before…for example, he didn’t talk or visit his 98 year old mother in the nursing home for over a year b/c he had to pay capital gains taxes on an inheritance from her. Needless to say, he is a little off. Well, we have overlooked most of his past tirades, but cannot overlook personal attacks and threats. We gave him back the furniture (he is storing it along with his 7 other furniture sets) b/c we don’t want to hear his calls and threats anymore. Also, we have since cut all ties, have not answered his calls, and do not plan to see him anytime soon. He has not apologized or anything and continues to leave mean / strange phone messages. Now, he is acting like he is the victim and that we are keeping him from his grandchild (without warrant). Frankly, I do not want my son or my future baby around him when he is acting crazy. He can be quite scary.

Well, my baby is about to turn 2, and my family is asking if we are inviting my FIL to his b-day party. My husband says no way, and I agree. What would you do? Part of me feels guilty…but then I replay some of the mean phone messages from him, and I don’t feel so guilty. Has anyone else ever cut out their baby’s grandparents?

Oh, my mother-in-law is deceased. My FIL is remarried, though. There is a lot more crazy things I could tell you about my FIL, but I don’t want to write a book. Let’s just say that I have even considered getting a restraining order.
I should mention that the furniture was not special to my FIL…it was a gift to my husband. We would’ve asked my FIL if he wanted it, but he has 5 bedrooms (complete with furniture sets) and 2 full spare sets in storage (i.e. his basement). His house is packed….he likes stuff and does not throw anything out. Again, I should re-iterate…my Mom was holding the furniture for us until my son was old enough to take it from her (if he so desires).
Also, my FIL is not mentally-ill…at least he has not been designated so. He just is mean and stubborn. He has done some crazy things, though.
Addtn: My FIL has caused many scenes in front of family. He was also once kicked out of a nursing home (when he was yelling at his 98 year old mother, who has never said a mean thing in her life by the way).