Back in 2002, my husband and I both lost our jobs, and got close to loosing our home. When our oldest daughter found out (she was only 16), she freely, and on her own, offered us her savings (she was saving for a car) of $2000. We very reluctantly accepted it, and it saved our home. Since we never quite recovered from the financial set back, we eventually gave her my truck, which she still drives, as it was and is in excellent condition. The truck was worth a whole lot more then just $2000. We told her that it was in lieu of the money, and she was happy with that. Well, now she is married. Two years ago, her grandmother found out that we had borrowed our daughters savings. But our daughter did not tell her that we gave her our truck in exchange. So grandmother wrote our daughter, married by then, that she wanted to pay off the $2000 she had let us borrow. She then began sending our daughter a monthly check, till the amount was paid off. Our daughter told her that she was using it for college, which she actually did not do.
Now, about a year ago, my husband got arrested for a really stupid traffic violation, which was eventually thrown out of court. In order for him not to loose his job, our daughter and son in law put up $280 for bail. (I’m disabled with a very tiny income) To this day, we are barley scraping by.
Over the past year, I gave our daughter several smaller payments towards this, usually when she took me grocery shopping. She promptly spent the money I gave her, and I did not ask for a receipt, as after all she was our daughter.
Fast forward… her bio. mom and step dad told lies about me.. etc. etc. and she has now told my husband that I’m dead to her. Her bio. mom was not part of her entire life, and now finally reappeared since she no longer is getting chased by child support enforcement. She stuck my husband for over $55,000 back child support, not one cent of her share of medical bill for both children. Anyhow…. long story
Now, all of a sudden, our son in law is demanding that we pay him back the $280, which we really just don’t have. I told him that I gave her a bunch of little payments, and it was totally paid back. But our daughter is now saying she didn’t get anything at all and that I’m telling a lie for saying that she got paid back.
So, our daughter got paid twice for a one time $2000 loan, and got a bunch of little payment totaling to over $300, for which we did not think we needed a receipt, for a one time loan of $280
Do you think that we should pay them again, after all that they already got back? We are barely scraping by each month as is.
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Pay her the lousy money and then give her a bill for all you spent on her as a child and demand that she pay you back.
Either pay them again and have them off your back. Or dont pay them and they will be harassing you all the time. If you do decide to pay them back again please remember to keep a receipt or have them sign something.
I am sorry. Your daughter should not even be thinking twice about borrowing / loaning you anything. to answer your question, no you should not pay her back. You needed money, she lent it to you and you paid her back. On a different note, are you relying on her too much or is she blowing it out of proportion
this is a hard time…. You Can STILL GO AFTER THE BIO MOM FOR CHILD SUPPORT… It’s ALL LEGAL…
GO AFTER THE BIO MOM FOR CHILD SUPPORT.. Until it’s paid in full.
NO, Don’t Pay them one penny.. THEY OFFERED TO PAY the bail, & if it WAS THROWN out of COURT, YOU SHOULD HAVE RECEIVED THE MONEY BACK FROM BAIL.. as the charges were dropped. OR WERE THEY???
I cannot tell you how angry this makes me. I help my mother out all the time. I couldn’t tell you how much I have given her – I couldn’t tell you because I don’t keep track and I don’t ask for it back. Your daughter seems like a selfish person and her husband seems like an ar%e. I think they like the drama and being a martyr. The poor suffering child who came in and saved horrible mummy and daddy. When I ‘lend’ money I never tell anyone and I never ask for it back. Argh!
Anyway, you can pay her if you want it all over with or you can cut them out of your life. She is being petty and has put you in a situation where you have to be too. I hope this gets resolved because life is too short, its a paltry sum of money compared to a relationship with your family and its un needed stress.
This is the very reason why you never borrow or loan money to your family. It can destroy your relationship. Never pay back a loan with cash. NEVER! Always write the person a check. The check is your receipt.
It sounds like you depend way too much on your daughter for financial help. If you can come up with the money to pay back a loan, then you should be able to put some small amounts of money on a regular bases in a savings account for an emergency. It’s not your daughter’s job to help you every time you get yourself in a jam.
You keep saying you are disabled and only have a tiny income and this is your excuse for not having any money. I know someone who is paralyzed from the chest down. He has no feeling or movement in his arms and legs. He can’t even breath. He’s on a ventilator for the rest of his life. Guess what!!! He has a job and supports his family. He doesn’t get a disability check or any help from the state. So I’m sorry, I don’t feel sorry for poor little you. No matter what your disability is, there is always something you can do to earn a pay check. Even if it’s only working at home from your computer.
Whether you pay your daughter this money or not depends on you. Which is more important to you, your daughter or the money? If you choose to pay her the money then at least be smart enough to write her a check as your receipt.
Maybe what is making your daughter so angry with you is not really the money, but the fact that you depend on her too much for help and she has been listening to your feel sorry for me stories since she was 16 and made to feel guilty if she doesn’t do without in order to help you again. You might want to seriously think about that.